All At Sea: Rumpus Party Onboard MS Stubnitz

6 Mar , 2013  

A sea creature at Rumpus on MS Stubnitz

So, my beau­ties, there we were, on the deck of the MS Stubnitz, late of Hamburg, now come to Canary Wharf, the icy air seek­ing out our exposed flesh, sur­roun­ded by all man­ner of weird creatures, some with the smell of sea­men about them, but many from Worlds strange and unfathom­able. We found ourselves in the midst of a great rum­pus of noise and com­mo­tion, at once assailed and bewildered by the des­per­ate voy­age now embarked.

3 mermaids at Rumpus party aboard MS Stubnitz

Gentle reader, we saw three genu­ine mer­maids, sirens of legend and lore, their tails flecked with the col­ours of the deep, their heads and breasts home to cor­als and anemones of every kind. They sang too, in slight Estuary tones, but pass­able non­ethe­less for they must have rehearsed it under water.

Sea creatures at Rumpus party on MS Stubnitz

Upon that deck was every ocean’s den­izen, per­sons in pon­der­ous diving con­trap­tions bedecked with tubes, lob­sters grown the size of pit-ponies and tangled with kelpy cloaks, giant crabs nip­ping at our extremit­ies, a crazy accor­di­on­ist who lashed about with his instru­ment, and jeweled ladies aplenty. A poor lad begged me for tobacco say­ing his nose was broke from a sea-vixen that fell down upon him from the sky, for she was some­what loose in the stays. We took fright, run­ning from the grop­ing octopi, and many win­some lasses sport­ing basques and fish­nets. A few lads in fish­nets also.

Girl at Rumpus party on MS Stubnitz

Below decks the lone bar stood three-deep with writh­ing wenches, deep-sea divers and pri­vat­eers, all of them fight­ing tooth-and-claw for a mouth­ful of grog. “An extra pound deposit for yer dimin­ut­ive plastic pint pot,” says the bar­man. “A foul trick!” says I, “None would be arsed to brave this bed­lam to return’t.” And so they had my pound, may it burn a hole in their poxy purses before it’s spent.

Sarb at Rumpus party on MS Stubnitz

From down in the bilges came wild music played with mur­der­ous intent by two bands of troubadours — one named Penny Black Remedy, the other BootScraper — and had me a merry jig while Master Sarb par­leyed a dam­sel whose eye was well twinkled by his ‘End Is Nigh’ sand­wich board, tho’ it came to naught, there being a ring upon her fin­ger.

Disco at Rumpus party on MS Stubnitz

And thus, as the party thinned, we jour­neyed for’ard to boo­gie in the dark for awhile til the 11 o’clock curfew fell upon us; whence above board and con­tem­plat­ing the gang­plank, we watched the wretched sloop’s crew set to sluicing the soiled decks and arouse those fallen to the scup­pers with the stag­gers and jags.

Captain Santi’s Rumpus party Vol 14 ’20,000 Creatures Under The Sea!’ was held aboard MS Stubnitz, Wood Wharf, London E14 9SB on Sat 2<sup class="ordinal">nd</sup> March 2013.

MS Stubnitz moored at Wood Wharf, London

It fea­tured a Rubbish Sideshow cir­cus, the noisy musics of Penny Black Remedy and BootScraper, hardtack by What The Dickens, harp­ist Steph West, and an accor­di­on­ist whose name escapes me. Spinning the yarns were DJs Ocelus, Dr Cat, Toby Lyon and Dr Malaka.

Words and photos: © Ken Sparkes. All Rights Reserved.


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